autotune

Overview

Machine prose is rarely wrong. It is autotuned. Every note sits dead centre of its pitch, and that is what gives it away.

Overcorrecting fails too. Leave the tells in and the piece reads as machine work. Scrub every one of them out and it still does, because flat, opinion-free prose is itself the loudest tell. A voice is partly the notes it misses on purpose.

Process

1. Read the house, so you can tell a habit from a fingerprint.
2. Fix the frequent tells: 13, 10, 9, 32, 33, 27.
3. Work the full list below.
4. Add soul.
5. Stop, using the rule at the end.

First, read the house

Before changing anything, open the nearest few documents: other posts on the blog, other pages on the site, the last few commits.

Anything the house does consistently is a voice, not a tell. A writer who uses em dashes in every piece has a convention, and stripping them is not unslopping. It is overwriting a person.

Only what the house does not otherwise do counts. Skip this and you will edit the author into sounding like everyone else, which is the thing you were brought in to prevent.

The list

Content

1. Puffery. “pivotal moment”, “testament to”, “evolving landscape”, “setting the stage for”, “indelible mark”, “deeply rooted”. Cut it, state what happened.
2. Name-dropping. Listing outlets or logos without context. Pick one, say what it actually said.
3. Superficial -ing clauses. “highlighting…”, “ensuring…”, “reflecting…”, “showcasing…”, “fostering…”. Delete, or expand into a real claim.
4. Promotional language. “nestled”, “vibrant”, “breathtaking”, “groundbreaking”, “renowned”, “stunning”, “must-visit”. Describe neutrally.
5. Vague attributions. “Experts believe”, “industry reports suggest”, “some critics argue”. Name the source or drop the claim.
6. Formulaic challenges. “Despite challenges, X continues to thrive.” Replace with the specific fact.

Language

7. AI vocabulary. Additionally, crucial, delve, enduring, enhance, fostering, garner, interplay, intricate, landscape (abstract), pivotal, showcase, tapestry, testament, underscore, vibrant. Use the plain word.
8. Fancy ways to say “is”. “serves as”, “stands as”, “boasts”, “features”. Say “is” or “has”.
9. “Not just X, but Y.” Also “it’s not about X, it’s about Y”. State the point once.
10. Rule of three. Three examples, three adjectives, three clauses, when the real number was two or five. Count what you have and use that.
11. Synonym cycling. Protagonist, main character, central figure, hero in one paragraph. Pick one and repeat it.
12. False ranges. “from X to Y” where X and Y are not on a scale. List the things.

Style

13. Em dashes. Unless the house uses them. End the sentence or use a comma. Reaching for parentheses instead trades one tell for another.
14. Colons mid-sentence. Fine before a list or example, not as a connector between two clauses.
15. Boldface. Don’t bold every proper noun and acronym.
16. Inline-header lists. The tell is a bold label plus colon restating the line: “Performance: Performance improved”. A bold lead-in ending in a period, followed by new detail, is fine.
17. Title case headings. Sentence case.
18. Decorative emoji. Remove from headings and bullets.
19. Curly quotes. Straight quotes.

Communication artifacts

20. Chatbot phrases. “I hope this helps”, “let me know if”, “of course”, “certainly”, “great question”.
21. Cutoff disclaimers. “While specific details are limited…” Find the detail or cut the sentence.
22. Sycophancy. “You’re absolutely right.” Answer directly.

Filler

23. Filler phrases. “In order to” to “to”. “Due to the fact that” to “because”. “It is important to note that” deleted outright.
24. Stacked hedging. “could potentially possibly be argued that it might” to “may”.
25. Generic conclusions. “The future looks bright.” State the plan or the number.

Jargon

26. Abstract metaphor nouns. Substrate, wedge, vector, locus, nexus, primitive, harness, surface, bedrock, scaffolding, paradigm, ratchet, endgame, north star, flywheel. Substrate is a base. A wedge is an addition. A vector is a method. Pick the concrete word.

Plain speech

27. Fluent nothing. Sentences that would sit unchanged in a competitor’s docs. Restate each as an instruction, a fact, or a number. If it cannot be restated, it was never saying anything.
28. Dense sentences. If the reader backtracks to parse it, split it. One idea per sentence.
29. Passive voice. “Queries are validated” to “the compiler validates queries”. Passive is fine only when the actor genuinely does not matter.
30. Adverbs. “Runs quickly” to “is fast”, or to the number. An adverb propping up a weak verb means the verb is wrong.
31. Fancy synonyms. Utilize to use. Leverage to use. Facilitate to help. Numerous to many.

Rhythm and shape

32. Even rhythm. Sentence lengths clustered between fifteen and twenty-five words with nothing short. Write the lengths out as a list of numbers and look at it. Then break one in half.
33. The summarising close. A final paragraph restating what was already said. Cut it. Writing ends when the point lands, not when the shape feels complete.

Adding soul

Removing tells is half the job. Voiceless writing is just as obvious.

• Have an opinion. React to the facts instead of listing them evenly.
• Vary the rhythm. Short sentences. Then longer ones that take their time.
• Admit complexity. “Impressive, and slightly unsettling” beats “impressive”.
• Use “I” where it fits. First person is not unprofessional.
• Let some mess in. Perfect structure looks machine-made.
• Be specific. Not “this is concerning” but “agents churning away at 3am”.

The stopping rule

Read the result and answer one question: whose is this?

If the answer is “someone careful” rather than a named person, you went too far. Put back something only the author would write: a sentence that runs long because they were enjoying themselves, or a word they overuse.

A piece can carry three or four tells and still read as human. A piece with none and no personality reads as a press release.

Output contract

1. The tells found. A table: the phrase, its number from the list, and whether the house does it elsewhere. Write this before editing, or you will justify whatever you already changed.
2. The rewrite. Same length or shorter.
3. The count. Tells removed, tells kept on purpose, and why.

Leave alone

• Quotes, testimonials, anything in someone else’s voice
• Technical terms of art where the reader is technical
• Any pattern the house uses consistently, however much you dislike it
• The argument. If the piece is wrong, say so separately

Common mistakes

Mistake	Why it fails
Running it without reading the house first	You cannot tell a habit from a fingerprint with no baseline. Every judgement after that is a guess.
Treating the list as a checklist to zero	Zero tells and zero voice is the failure this skill exists to avoid.
Swapping a flagged word for a fancier one	”Delve” to “explore” is lateral. “Delve into” to “read” is the fix.
Rewriting first, listing second	The list stops being evidence and becomes an alibi.
Applying it to someone’s personal essay	Voice-driven writing gets to break these on purpose.